PUSH and PULL
by renegadewriter8
Summary: Prowl wakes up to find the doors changed to have handles and labels saying whether you have to push or pull to get them opened. He's also having a very bad day. Jazz isn't helping at all. BASED ON A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!


Hello! I just had to write this... Based on a personal experience! Tell you at the bottom ;)

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**PLEASE!**

**000000000000000000**

Prowl woke with the knowledge that something was going to happen and he wouldn't like it at all. As if that weren't enough, he also woke with a mayor processor ache. Groaning and cursing his luck, he got up in a very bad mood.

Walking down the halls towards the rec. room he prayed that no one was foolish enough to annoy him today. Maybe he'd send the twins to the brig for the whole day just to be sure. The thought alone made him feel better.

Entering the rec. room, with the same gracefulness as was his name, he walked as quickly as he could, without making it obvious that he'd rather be anywhere but there, towards the energon dispenser. He wished to not speak with anyone and to not be spoken to. Though the murderous aura that surrounded him was enough to make mechs stop mid-greeting, turn, and run like Unicorn himself was after them.

He had one mission: Get his energon and get out! Of course, fate was feeling rather cruel to Prowl that day.

"Morning Prowler!"

The tactician groaned. "Go away." He simply said not even bothering to turn and face the mech that had spoken, a servo rubbing his temple while he entered his code in the energon dispenser's main console, watching the liquid start to pour into his cube.

Jazz, cheerfully skipped next to the SIC, leaning on the small table next to the dispenser, so that he could see his faceplates. "Woah, someone's in a bad mood today." He said grinning.

"And yet, you still decide to annoy me." Prowl deadpanned.

"Ya know, ya might wanna keep dat killer aura ta a minimal. Ya're even managing ta scare Sunny."

Prowl rose an optic ridge at him, though a rush of pride and satisfaction ran through him. That died quickly as the ache in his processor decided that it did not, in fact, like to be ignored. He crossed his arms as he waited impatiently for the dispenser to finish pouring his energon and get out!

Jazz shrugged. "Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway..." His grin turning mischievous as he leaned closer to Prowl. "Did ya... notice something different today?"

His cube finally full, he grabbed it and turned walking quickly towards the door muttering to himself. "I'd better not or someone's going to be in pain." Though it was low, Jazz heard it and it was his turn to rise and optic ridge.

Prowl must be in a _very_ bad mood. He _never_ threatened anyone! Except the Decepticons of course... And the twins... and well, him. But that wasn't the point!

"Ya okay?" He asked tentatively, catching up with his friend as he reached the door.

Turning fast and glaring at the saboteur he said in an icy voice. "As you say: Peachy." With that he left, the doors closing leaving behind a dumbfounded Jazz.

**0000000000000**

Prowl walked down the corridor with his energon cube in one servo, a data pad in the other, reading over various reports he'd have to sign off for the human government and for a supply run.

It wasn't until he reached his office doors that he noticed that something _was_ different. He was about to type in his code when he truly _saw _his doors.

Instead of there being two metallic thick plates that would slide into the walls to give him entrance to his sanctuary, there were two metal doors with vertical handles on each side and two labels, one under each handle. Both of them said in big white letters: 'PULL'.

Staring for a few kilcks, his logic center trying to come up with a reason for the doors being changed and who could have possibly done it, he finally decided to give it up, not wanting to crash so early in the morning when he had so many reports to look into. Though the idea was appealing to him under the circumstances. His processor ache had doubled but the prank was not life threatening or dangerous so he decided to deal with it when he actually had the mental strength to put up with it.

With a resigned sigh, he grabbed one of the handles and pulled. The door opened and he walked cautiously in. When nothing happened, he let go of the door and it closed on it's own. He had seen these kind of doors. They were used by humans mainly for shops and offices.

Shrugging, he sat at his desk and with yet, another sigh, he started his long hours of work.

**000000000000000**

It wasn't until a few hours later, when Ratchet called him, threatening to weld him to a berth and force feed him if he didn't see his code from the dispenser's computer appear on his main computer proving to the medic that Prowl had taken his energon, the next breem that he left his office. Getting up, he reached for the handle intent on pulling, as the labels on the other side had said. Instead, he paused as the labels on this side said 'PUSH'.

_"Logical."_ He thought pushing the door and going out. _"The doors are probably meant to go one way or they will be damaged."_ Satisfied with coming up with a very logical explanation, he pushed and went out.

On his way to the rec. room, he realized with a groan that _all_ the doors had been changed. Some had the words 'PULL' while others had 'PUSH'. He'd have to speak with Red Alert about this. There just _had_ to be a few dozen of his cameras that had caught the culprit or culprits and how he or they had managed to do all the doors in just one night.

Reaching the rec. room, he noticed surprised, that they had also been changed when he was sure that they were normal when he had gone in that very morning. _"The culprit must have been working while I was in my office."_ He thought with a grimace.

Looking at the labels, and seeing the words 'PUSH', he did exactly that. As soon as he was in, he was assaulted by various mechs, most of them complaining about the doors, and demanding that their original doors be re-installed.

"Are you kidding?" Sideswipe yelled over the commotion. "It's so much easier to get into the room instead of having to punch in the code!"

"Yeah. It's specially easier when you're overcharged." Snorted Sunstreaker.

"But there's no privacy!" Mirage yelled. And it was true. There was no lock of any kind on the doors. Anyone would be able to walk in at any time.

Oh. _OH! _

He commed Ratchet as realization hit him.

:: What! :: The medic snapped over the line.

:: Red Alert's there, isn't he? ::

:: So you saw the doors. :: Ratchet said mockingly.

:: Indeed I have. ::

The medic snorted. :: Once this glitch discovered there was nothing standing between him and the dangers of the outside world, no locks what so ever he couldn't take it and he crashed. Now, thanks to whoever did this, I'm stuck on **MY DAY OFF**, defragging his processor core! I've been at it for two hours and I still see three more in the future! ::

Sneaky fellow. With Red Alert out of commission it would take a lot of time to identify the culprit, time Prowl did not have. Kudos to the prankster.

::When he is functional again comm me. I will need his help to catch the culprit. ::

:: Yeah, yeah whatever. But I get dibs on whoever it this! ::

Closing the comm link, he faced the small crowd that had started to yell at each other.

"Enough!" He ordered, rubbing both sides of his temple. His processor was killing him! "I'll deal with this later, though I suspect I already know the culprits." He said glaring at the twins.

"Hey!" They yelled. "This time it wasn't our idea!" Sideswipe said crossing his arms over his chassis.

Prowl sighed and just left the crowd to head to the energon dispenser. He hadn't forgotten Ratchet's threat. And by the mood he was in, the medic would actually welcome the opportunity to vent.

Punching in his code, that would show up in Ratchets logs that he was a good mech and had taken his energon, he waited for his energon to be ready.

Grabbing the full cube, he turned to leave, only to come faceplates to faceplates with Jazz.

"He'ya Prowler!" He greeted.

The tactician let out a frustrated sigh. "Jazz, do you _have_ a death wish? Because I'm feeling very generous right now."

"Woah! Cool yer circuits!" He said steeping back and holding his servos up to show he was unarmed and meant no harm. "Can't a mech just want ta talk ta his best friend?"

Prowl rose an optic ridge. "When and _if_ I'm that mech you speak of, then no, you can't. You have an ulterior motive. I know it."

"Aww, I'm hurt!" The saboteur said holding his chest plates and putting on a pained expression for more effect.

"Goodbye Jazz. " Prowl said lazily, already half way to the door.

**00000000000000000**

Throughout the day, Prowl got real familiar with the new doors. He had to go to the med bay to give Ratchet the list of supplies that would soon be available and left running as he became a target for his anger. It appeared that Red Alert was paranoid enough to have bobby trapped his own circuits, not his programs, or his firewalls! But the circuits that made up his main processor. So far, Ratchet had been shocked, thrown into stasis, where Wheeljack had to be a hero and dare to enter his med bay to aid him, and burned. Prowl wasn't sure if Ratchet would let Red Alert live after that and messing with his own anatomy.

After that dramatic and violent scene. He had to give, two data pads to Wheeljack's lab, eight to Prime's office on six different occasions, one to Blaster and three to Ironhide, having to come back to get all of them when they were respectively signed. Oh and another forced trip to the rec. room by the medic himself. That hadn't been pleasant. All in all, he pushed and pulled more then he had in his entire life. Every time he approached a door, those labels were present and he had seen them so often that it was already second nature to him to check them before opening a door.

Late at night, too late for it to be healthy, the door to his office opened to reveal the grinning faceplates of no other then the Primusly too slagging cheerful TIC. Prowl was contemplating on sending him on the most dangerous of missions so he would just. Leave. Him. **ALONE**!

"What!" He snapped.

"Geez dat's a nice way ta greet a friend." The saboteru said walking in.

"Jazz, I am exhausted, I have a killer processor ache and I still have to finish these reports. Could you _please_ come back to harass me later?"

"Dat's why I'm here babe!" The saboteur grinned his arms wide as if making it easier for the SIC to 'see him'. The tactician was far from impressed if the bored and frustrated, deadpanned expression on his face wasn't proof enough.

"No really." Jazz said pouting at the lack of response. "Prime and Ratchet sent me ta drag ya ta yer quarters and tie ya ta the berth if need be. Look, Ratch' even gave me the rope!"

_"More like chains."_ Prowl thought as the saboteur took some chains twined together to appear like a rope... a black rope with cuffs and all, out of his subspace with a grin too large to be normal. Prowl decided the TIC was enjoying himself a bit too much with the Prime and Ratchet's 'order'.

Optics narrowing, he stood up, holding his door-wings high. "That won't be necessary. I'm leaving."

And like that, he walked around the disappointed and pouting OPs, and out the door.

**00000000000000000**

"Would you stop following me!" Prowl asked, barely contained. Honestly, the saboteur wanted to die.

"Naa uh! I have ta see with ma own optics dat ya go in ta yer quarters or Ratchet'll have ma back struts- And 'Ah like em just the way dey are. Thank ya very much."

Sighing in defeat, he turned towards the hall to the officer's quarters. For once, he _did_ want to recharge. For once he didn't _care_ that he still had some reports to do. Which was a miracle in itself. He had had _that_ bad of a day.

He let out a relieved sigh when his quarters came into view. They were right there! Recharge awaited him and he wasn't going to disappoint. Not today.

Once his haven was reached, he turned to the TIC. "Goodnight Jazz." He said and turned to grab the handle while looking at the labels to see which way they had to be opened.

And that's when he froze. His pleased smile was replaced with a shocked and outraged expression. This was not happening. It was illogical! It was barbaric! It went against everything sane! For there, in front of him, was indeed two labels. But instead of saying PUSH or PULL, **ONE** said PULL and the **OTHER** said... PUSH!

His circuits went chaotic. Which was he supposed to do? Pull or push? The labels were contradicting each other! Logic said that these doors _had_ to open one way or another or they would be damaged! There was a _reason_ for the labels! Yet here they were, two labels with different commands, and if he chose wrongly, he could ruin the door. He could _not_ chose wrongly. He would not be the cause of a ruined door! He wasn't SIC for nothing! He _refused_ to chose wrongly!

His servo shook, still frozen in the air towards the handle. He didn't know what to do! The words kept appearing in his mind. Push, pull, push, pull, push, pull... WHAT DID HE HAVE TO DO!

Unable to take the strain anymore, his logic center locked. As his systems started to power down towards stasis lock, he realized with horror that _this_ was that foreboding feeling he had had since he woke up.

_"Damn."_ He thought before his world went black.

Jazz watched as Prowl froze, and started to shake, no doubt by the stress in his logic center. He watched emotionless as his friend fell backwards, almost in slow motion and hit the ground with a loud 'CLANK'.

The saboteur stood watching the black and white mech, his faceplates void of any emotion. He looked to the door and back to Prowl slowly before repeating the action. Coming back to Prowl and resting his gaze on him for a few seconds, a malicious grin started to spread, white dentals showing, visor glowing a menacing glint.

He chuckled darkly. Sending an anonymous message to Ratchet, he turned and left. Music playing on his speakers.

_'So, this how we get this done_

_You can check on the rep, yep, second to none!'_

**FIN**

There you have it! Okay, story time! LOL, the other day, I went to the bank, cause I had to pay for a class of mine, the doors were exactly like the once mentioned only that they were glass. There was guard next to them. So I smiled and said 'good morning' and went to grab the handle. And I swear I FROZE! The freaking labels were contradicting each other! I stood there for like, ten seconds unmoving having no idea what to do. I finally looked at the guard and he _smiled! _He was laughing at me I KNOW IT! T.

Anyway, I went in and thought about it. Something illogical happened. Thank God I'm not like Prowl or I would have crashed... wait... *wicked grin* leaves bank, sits somewhere (can't remember where), takes notebook and starts writing, a psychotic grin on my face. I think people were avoiding me. XD

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